i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
