i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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