do herpes really smell.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
