I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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