i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So I just went to clothing optional bar
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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