before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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