You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
smell my finger.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
