I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
