i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
