Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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