your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
