It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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