the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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