i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
