gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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