my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
