If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
