Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just forgot I was standing up.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
