if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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