I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
