i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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