They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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