Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
