you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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