I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
