I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
