Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
