I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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