if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
my shit smells like andre
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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