normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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