Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
