And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
