he shaved USA in his pubs
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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