I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
