Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
