I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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