what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
