maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
