i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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