If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
