fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
