a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
