No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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