I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
