Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
