you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
