Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
