Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
