So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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