He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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