Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
