Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
