and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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