sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
