10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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